The Anguish of Why?!

Today's events have been repeated all too often in our history. And the pain and anguish they bring about is harsh, cuts deep and leaves people everywhere asking the same questions:

Why?!

and:

How can anyone hurt helpless children like that?

And of course, many see it as a vindication of strongly held political or religious beliefs. They seek to advance an agenda based on the violence and the public outcry that something be done. People are generally sincere in their beliefs and truly want what is best to happen, but of course there is a chasm separating what is viewed as truly the best thing for all.

There truly is an answer to this question though. One that addresses all aspects of this tragedy, and those that have past as well as those to come.

Unfortunately, all too often when we ask “Why?!” what we are really asking is:

“Who can we blame?!”

“Whose fault is this?!”

and

“Give us vengeance!”

Questions that center around blame, and guilt are as useless here as they are in all of life. What causes events like today's and tragedies of all stripes the world over is one thing and one thing only. And it comes right back to each and every one of us.

Several years back, a book and movie came out called The Secret. It spelled out the workings of the Law Of Attraction. This law explains that our thoughts and words have energy to bring out their content. The same is true of our emotions or feelings.

Each of us puts out various types of energy each and every day depending on the events of our day. Today's world gives people a wide array of events that give ample opportunity to fill the world with anger, frustration, hatred and more negative energy than I care to list. All of it ends up someplace. It bounces around the people we interact with day after day, and hopefully they can find a way to deal with it. Hopefully anyway…

There is an assumption that is taught when learning about how we interact and react as people that says: “Everybody is doing the best they can with the resources available to them.”

What if someone has been born with less native ability and emotional resources than most, and is also born into a family of people that simply overflow with not just negative energy, but a thousand types of toxic energy.

Or perhaps they are themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time and become the recipient of the exact types of energy that push them beyond their “best” ability to cope. And then remain not just to be no danger to others but also a source of positive energy themselves.

We all live in a world ruled by cause and effect. The causes are almost always complex and cumulative.

The epidemic washing the earth in blood, pain and wasted lives is the isolation that keeps us from connecting as the family of humanity that we truly are. It has nothing to do with borders, beliefs, race, gender or age. We are all connected, but many (or perhaps even most) do not feel that bond.

The people that carry out such senseless acts of violence and wanton bloodshed all share a lack of connection to the rest of us. That connection is what can, and will stop this all one day.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote that loneliness was the plague of the 20th Century. He was writing about the same thing I refer to here. The isolation felt by so many with such tragic consequences.

Over the next days and weeks, we will be inundated with information and details about the perpetrator of this horrendous act, just as we have been after ever school shooting and every other act of senseless violence the media has covered since the 24 hour news cycle came into existence.

And we will still have no better idea what specifically triggered this…

And the next time we will be left once more asking…

“Why?!”

We want a villain…

We desperately want someone to point a finger at, assign blame to and dole out an appropriately heinous punishment.

Mostly, there is just us…

We get the world that we build with the energy that we put out. If we truly want an answer to the “Why?!” that tragedies demand, then we have to look at ourselves and not just for the satisfying adrenaline rush of righteous indignation. We must ask it with the knowledge that the answer lies in each and every one of us.

Millions of our brothers and sisters are at risk of succumbing to the isolation, the anger and the divisiveness this world produces in such abundance every day. There is another way to live…

We can choose to live without being pitted against one another by politics, religion, gender, lifestyle or any of the other things that isolate humans and make us feel like less than family to one another.

When we react to the people that we come in contact with we always have a choice. The choice between reacting with understanding that “they are always doing the best they can with the resources available to them” (just as we are). Or we can choose to vent negative energy to them. We can risk contributing to the cumulative negative energy that may bring the day closer when “the best they can”, and “the resources available to them” are each insufficient. And become a part of that larger “Why?!” we cry out for now…

The solution to this…

What we do to stop all of this once and for all…

The answer we cry out for after each of these is simple, if not easy. The only way to stop it all is for each and every one of us to become the world we want.

Asking anyone but ourselves “Why?!” is pointless. It's not about blame, but it is about responsibility. Responsibility that we must each embrace to create that world.

If you have read my work before, you have probably heard of the Hawaiian practice called Ho'ponopono. It is a prayer of sorts with four parts. If you Google this, you will find the four parts listed in differing order in different works. This is because with practice, these come together simultaneously.

I approach them initially in this order:

  • God, I love you
  • I am sorry for whatever I or my ancestors have done to cause or worsen this situation
  • Please forgive these errors and transform them into perfect light
  • Thank You!

This is all about each and every one of us taking responsibility for filling the world with the type of energy that will reinforce the resources of those we come in contact with. That will increase what the “The best they can” includes.

Am I telling you that today's events are your fault? No. I am doing my Ho'oponopono prayers and saying that they are mine.

I am asking God to take my errors – the times I've reacted with anger and impatience instead of understanding, support and an offer of help and connection – and transform them the next time the opportunity arises into a flow of positive energy that heals and uplifts.

The children that died today in Connecticut, as well as the 20 that were stabbed to death in China did not die for nothing. Their deaths serve as a poignant, pressing and painful reminder that there aren't enough of us yet that are sources of energy that revitalizes and heals.

They are a motivation for us to look inward and strive to be more, because by being one of those sources we create more of us every day. Writing this, I know without a doubt that tomorrow I will go out and will not always succeed in my efforts to be one of these sources…

You have my word though that I will do the best I can with the resources available to me.